The Fearless 50’s
by Amy Ferris
Some days are hard. You feel a bit cranky, a bit overwhelmed, a bit underrated, a bit overlooked and a bit undervalued. You wait.
For a sign, a moment, a gift from the goddesses.
Some of us … oh, wait a minute, let me correct that … many of us – who are in our 50’s often expect less than. I don’t know about you, but my mom was not a go-getter. She was not a woman who believed in the concept of follow-through. She was a very impatient, compulsive, a “live by the seat of your pants” kind of woman. And while it got her through her life, she did not instill in me a great deal of courage or fearlessness … but a sense of urgency, immediacy as in: if I don’t get it now, right now, this minute – then fuck it. I was not taught – at least not by her example – the vital importance of living life boldly, with audacity, with a sense of power and amazement and the honest to goodness truth that if you want something bad enough, and are willing to put everything on the line, you will not only get what it is you want, but you might even get something bigger and better and more than you dreamed possible, in other words, to be completely and utterly courageous. That is something I learned on my own by belonging to, and being a part of many extraordinary communities. From creative organization’s, to spiritual movements, to writers salon’s, to Media connections and the most powerful community of all: women and friendship.
Which brings me to today, this morning.
Today – this morning – I had the amazing pleasure and pure joy of speaking with and connecting (live, no less) to Barbara Hannah Grufferman on the phone. I’m not quite sure how we sort of originally reached out to each other, no doubt based on the fact that we both have written books that are about midlife, the journey, the joys, the difficulties, and the sheer beauty and power of being women in our 50’s. But we became ‘viral/virtual’ friends first – supporting, and rooting for each other daily on blogs and facebook, and through e-mails. We both have a deep sense of compassion, a generosity of spirit, along with the need and desire to reach out and help create a new community of women — not only for and with our peers, but for the next generation of women. A vibrant, sexy, new midlife movement.
From the moment she said hello, we just chatted and gabbed and talked and talked… and shared everything — everything — and then Barbara said something that moved and shook my universe, she said, “I am fearless, Amy, I will do anything, absolutely anything, what’s the worst that can happen, someone will say no…”
And there it is folks, right there. Being fearless. The way Barbara said it, the power in her voice, there was no maybe or what if, it was direct. Clear. She is a lioness.
So, armed with both a new fearless friend, and a desire to move my life up a notch, I decided right there, in that moment, that I will do something every single day from a place called ‘fearless.’ I will do one thing every single day – one thing – that I am afraid to do.
So, a campaign begins: THE FEARLESS 50’s.
Today I’m getting in touch with O Magazine about my book. I tried once, nothing happened, and I just dropped it. Just like that. I dropped it. Well, I’m going to try again. And yes, they can say no again, no thank you.
And since Barbara is such a powerhouse, such a gorgeous, generous soul, I’m going to take this opportunity to share a few other things on my own personal FEARLESS 50’s list:
To start writing … another book, or two – to give up “waiting to be wanted.”
To have my own column in a magazine (and yes, get paid!)
To open my life to all and every possibility without trying to control the outcome (THIS SCARES THE HELL OUT ME!!!!!)
To say NO more, YES less and mean it. To not waver in my own feelings or opinions.
And the thing is, being fearless isn’t about someone saying no to me, or not responding to me, or even liking or not liking me … it’s about me taking an action, doing something, anything and everything that scares the hell out of me.